Archive for August, 2007

Well, DIGITAL plastic surgery anyway.

I present Megan-DAMN I wish I were Angelina Jolie-Fox.  You know, that chick with the banging body in Transformers, but wore enough makeup for an entire tranny village?  She's actually really kind of scary up close.  But thanks to the magic of Photoshop, she can look less like a candidate for a Proactiv infomercial and more MAXIM-covergirl-y.


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Hey, baby.  Yes, I'm talking to you, you delicious man with the shiny, shiny hair.   I just wanted to say that you absolutely made my day.  It started out so miserably – I was running late, I didn't have my morning coffee, I forgot to put on deodorant – but you, oh YOU, turned my morning around.

I thought it was going to be another boring ride on the Metro, but I was so wrong.  I saw you, babe, and suddenly, it was a morning straight out of a Disney cartoon.  All that was missing were the little singing, dancing animals.  That's just how AWESOME you were.

I watched you check your reflection out, making sure every hair was in place, that nothing was stuck between your front teeth (or the teeth in the back for that matter.)  You stood so close that I could smell your heady man scent.  Is that Old Spice and AXE body spray, mixed with a dollop of that sweetly fruity Salon Selectives hair product?  It was an olfactory assault:  my nostrils were ravished.  RAVISHED, I say.  My head spun, and I felt lightheaded…with delight, I'm pretty sure. 

If that weren't enough, you upped the hotness ante. I could only watch you, slack jawed with desire, as you pulled out a travel sized bottle of hair spray (I was right! It was Salon Selectives), and applied a very generous amount to your gleaming, shellacked, raven tresses. 

You also very kindly shot some on my hair and shirt – mnnnn, second hand spray is so sexy. 

Unfortunately, the train had arrived at my station and I couldn't continue watching you finish your morning ablutions.   But I wanted to let you know: damn, you are sooooooo hot.

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